Leadership Fallacies Week 3: “I’m Successful When Everyone is Happy”

If we’re honest, most of us really don’t like disappointing others.

As leaders, we often feel a subtle pressure to maintain the peace, avoid conflict, and work to ensure that everyone feels good about the direction we’re headed. When (not if) someone disagrees or is unhappy, it can feel like we are failing.

The reality is that if your focus becomes managing comfort, you’re no longer leading your team - you’re just reacting to their moods.

One of the hardest lessons in leadership is realizing that not everyone will like your decisions - even when you’re confident they’re the right ones. The reality is you will have to make hard decisions that not everyone will agree with you about - whether it’s dealing with budget cuts, new or shifting priorities, or simply holding someone accountable, there will be times when people aren’t happy with you.

But this doesn’t mean you’ve failed, if means you’re finally leading.

In my own journey, I’ve seen both sides of this. I’ve had to make unpopular calls, saying no when it would have been easier to say yes, and followed through on tough decisions. But I’ve also hesitated to do what needed to be done over fear of letting my team down. (This is even harder when you have such a great team like I do!)

This common leadership fallacy shows up in many ways. Maybe you’re saying yes when you should say no. Maybe you’re delaying implementing necessary change because you fear backlash. Perhaps you’re avoiding that tough conversation that needs to happen. Or worst of all - you’re keeping underperformers on your team too long.

At the end of the day, we’re not here to keep everyone comfortable. Yes, we should build healthy, respectful work environments, (I talk about this in Chapter 7 of my book ), but leadership isn’t about avoiding discomfort. We have to do what’s right - even when it’s hard.

Our job as leaders is to accomplish our mission, while guiding our team members towards betterment. And sometimes, that journey to betterment involves growing pains, discomfort, and disagreement.